Almost forty years following my first abortion, what I know now is that we can only face what the Lord places right before us. What I know now is that we can trust Him to lead. In every circumstance, what might His interest, His goal, His heart beat? It is always the pursuit of our hearts. What is His greatest desire? It is that we rest in Him, that we’re aligned in Him and that we are set free to experience the plan He wrote for our lives before the sands of time.
What I know now is that we all have hurdles, and while the Lord is not the creator of the hard things in our lives, He is the craftsman that uses them. I’ve found it’s often as we face those very obstacles that we find ourselves in a place of understood dependency and willingness to follow and obey. What I know now is that only God can change our hearts, and it is only God who can open our eyes. Everything along the way is used by Him to get us to the place of willingness, to trust Him and see from His perspective, to make the choice to follow Him each day.
As a member of the post abortive community, I know that while every woman’s (and man’s) story is different, we all share a particular pain—though we may not realize, or be willing to admit to it for many years. We are all aligned in the reality that we know the loss and absence of one or more children, and have a legacy that can only be reconciled through Jesus and made complete on the day we meet those children in heaven.
Until that day, it is crucial that we allow ourselves to feel the varied emotions of our abortion experience, rectify our hearts before God and those who influenced this monumental part of our lives, and find healing from the internal wounds and shame that are so often buried. As we brave this healing journey, our longings can grow to know these children as we do those we are gifted to raise here on earth. We can know wholeness here while welcoming the day when we will be together again.
So what does this look like, and where do we start? It begins with conversation. Who are you talking to? Who have you told? I would say the first indicator that the abortion or abortion experience still lives in secret, unhealed space within is that it is something we are unwilling or hesitant to discuss. I’m not saying everyone has to confess their abortions from a mountaintop, but I am saying it should not be the hidden, forbidden topic of conversation with those who are close to our hearts.
If the answers to these questions are that you have yet to broach this hidden place in your heart, I am here for you, and I welcome your call. You can find my personal mobile number in the back of my book, Healed for Life, A Story of Redemption, and I will answer to help you start this conversation and provide follow up steps. I encourage you, be courageous. The first step is the hardest and most powerful. Know that I love you, I want the fullness of life for you, and I’ll be led by the Lord to recommend next steps.
Next step, once we get it out of the vault, is that we need to unpack the healing. There are five major opportunities for healing that we all experience: forgiveness, denial, resentment, triggers, acceptance and seeing through God's eyes the journey of our lives.
Post-abortion healing is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves to support us in taking each step and facing some of the things that may have remained dormant along the way. I recommend that all women and men who have experienced the loss of a child to abortion pursue post-abortion healing. Also, it can be extremely beneficial for grandparents, siblings, and friends who influenced the abortion decision may journey through a post-abortion healing program and find freedom as well. Here are links to a few of my favorites:
Discovering where we need to heal can be one of the biggest obstacles. For many, the abortion experience was a moment in the timeline of our lives when a light turned off, and for some, we didn’t even realize it happened. In my case, it became clear as I followed the evidence of my life, that a bright light in my life dimmed and I derailed once the first abortion decision was made. Regardless of whether you’re post-abortive or not, we’ve all been negatively impacted by our choices and can use help discovering the moments on our lives’ that have caused a deep pain or shift in the way we relate with ourselves and others.
One of the best books that I know of that can help you discover and heal from these moments is a book called The Exchange: Surrender to the Process by Becky Castle.
What I know now is that the healed (and healing) post abortive voice is The Voice that will eradicate abortion from our land… We will peacefully tell the truth of our testimonies that will open the eyes and hearts of our nation to the Truth and his desire for Life.
A Story of Redemption, order your copy of Healed for Life, an Amazon #1 New Release and Top 10 Best Seller in the Abortion & Birth Control category.
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